#Beinspired: Shonda Rhimes- “Be a Doer…Get Busy becoming Yourself”

Its five years today since I graduated with a PhD in Real Estate and Planning from the University of Reading. An accomplishment I would never have dreamed possible 6 years earlier or even the year before the actual graduation. The road to Dr. Edozien was fraught with obstacles and many setbacks. I tell anyone who asks….‘how did you manage to get a PhD before 30’? I tell them….‘I don’t know’. My answer doesn’t stem from a false sense of humility but rather from the breaking process that lasted the entire 4 and a half years it took me to get that degree.

Hearing the chancellor call my name and mounting that podium wasn’t only about accepting the certificate that now hangs on my father’s wall, it wasn’t only about getting the eminent prefix of ‘DR’ added to my name, it was about celebrating the person who had started that process a girl and emerged “Glory”. My journey to joining the PhD alum was one of falling forward. All preconceived notions of being intelligent and analytical were quickly dispelled by the end of my first year. I learnt new levels of humility, discipline, compassion (for myself and others) and self acceptance. These new traits weren’t buried in between the pages of Patsy Healey’s book on Collaborative Planning, rather the process of hard work, weighing continuous criticism and self evaluation probably were more to blame.

That’s probably why I feel a deep connection to Shonda Rhimes (writer of Blockbuster TV series Grey Anatomy and Scandal)  Dartmouth Commencement Speech. Like her, I too felt a sense of trepidation at my first degree graduation. While everyone around me was throwing away their pens and celebrating, I was wiping away tears brought on by the fear of the unknown. And still today, years later, that fear sits like a brick at the pit of my stomach.

As many would agree, Shonda shared lasting nuggets of wisdom useful for any and everyone. For me, the most impacting was the idea of getting busy by doing and becoming you. Truth is, we only find out who we are and what we will become by doing. Stepping out of our comfort zone, seeing beyond the problem and marching forward to the solution. But doing isn’t easy, it is HARD. VERY HARD. You will fall, feel like quitting and if you are anything like me, cry many times.  And after a few tries, bruising and scars you’ll emerge stronger and better for it. One day, you’ll look into the mirror and see yourself. Not the external you, the real you….still imperfect but happy and overcoming.

So five years after a PhD, I’m still doing but Shonda’s speech is a reminder that I need to do more. I need to be deliberate about my doing. Devote my time and self to something outside of me. Most of all it reminds me that my doing will involve sacrifices, I may not always get it right, but you know what, that’s alright too.