Survivor Vs Ms Independent by Wale Adetula

Those who don’t understand her (perhaps) prefer the derogatory term used for the female gender of the canine clan. Whichever you chose, the fact remains the world has come to acknowledge the continuous development of a new breed of women or the mere evolution of a gender from its emotional, submissive ancestral background to a liberal, independent and perhaps, dominating future.

Before you ask which of the above stated terms I prefer, let me go over a few things. Gone are the days when your typical classified ad for a woman who possesses what we call wifey material would read something like “She cooks, she cleans and she’ll still keep you satisfied in the bedroom”. I wonder what that kind of Ad would look like today – Expert at microwaving, washing machines, ordering food from your favourite restaurant and if she can’t satisfy you in the bedroom…etc…

Okay, to all the ladies, reading, put away the knives and guns, I’m not ‘Kiko’ the caveman who believes the only type of relationship a man and woman should have is that of master and slave. I totally believe in women independence and liberalization. What I can’t stand is laziness, being insensitive and absolute lack of regard to the things that should matter a lot in love, life and relationships. That being said, I should also mention that ‘men’ are not the focus of this write-up, we have our issues (loads of them) but today, I’m writing about you – yes, you – our sisters, girlfriends, women and wives.

The temptation to adopt western cultures is irresistible. This process becomes toxic when the adopted cultures begin to overshadow the traditional ones. This is one school of thought, which believes the recent increase in the call for independence and liberalization of women is as a result of influence from foreign cultures. Media exposure and the revival of the middle class to the point where things like frequent trips abroad are no longer strange and these now serve as some of the major points of infiltration of these foreign cultures.

Excessive smoking in public, ‘highly’ indecent fashion culture (hello Rihanna), “anti-African” sexual orientation, inclination towards single-parenthood, disregard for the institution of marriage, social prostitution e.t.c are some of the resultant characteristics of this unholy marriage of cultures. Think it’s far-fetched? Take another look around you and you’ll notice that these trends are becoming more and more visible amongst the young women of our society. The other school of thought believes it’s a natural generational shift. With or without the exposure to the western world and their practices, it is believed that a race will eventually get to a point where it needs to evolve a new culture and for us in Nigeria and perhaps Africa, that time is now.

Whichever school you decide to take sides with is your choice. For me, the issue is the fact that these said ‘traits’ or ‘characteristics’ are becoming more and more visible in our society and day-by-day I become more grief-stricken as I ponder the faith of single young men like myself.  Once again, please resist the urge to shift focus to us men (we have our issues).

From the characteristics mentioned above, I’m sure we can fish out one or two that can be managed. I’m sure some guys love their women wearing super high bum-shorts to the mall at noon on a random Saturday and the sexual acts, well, as long as it stays in your bedroom, it’s all good right? The truth however remains that most of the predominant characteristics are those that most won’t excuse. Take for instance, the smoking. I’m not a smoker and all my life I wondered how women could stand making out at all with men who do but ‘Men Smoke’ – that’s accepted in the society, not that we never knew women didn’t do it, it’s just widely accepted that women smoking isn’t right. When this now grows from a few “rebellious/adventurous” women to girls in college or even secondary school, it starts to worry me.

Gone are the days when men who wanted to ward off women would wear a ring. The ‘survivor’ women of today are vixens. They’ll hunt you down, whether you are single, hooked or hitched – what they want, they get. After all, the competition is stiffer. At about 7 women to 1 man, every woman has to embrace whatever technique seems most effective to get her a man. These techniques range from being a total ‘bimbo’ to a perfect ‘bitch’. More and more women fail at the former (who wants to get stuck with a bimbo) and therefore they’ve come to embrace the later. And so, the survivor/independent woman character was born.

She can’t be seen sweating away long hours in the kitchen when a wide selection of fast food restaurants exists. She’ll make the occasional foray into the land of cooking, but only to make Nigeria’s favourite working-class meal – noodles. For everything else, an ‘Ekaite’ or better still an ‘Akpan’ would just have to suffice. She drives a brand new car (leased by her hubby, a mugu/maga or daddy paid for it) but she’s independent. Her hair extensions have to be ‘human’ else she’ll cut it all low (the Lupita look). Nails mostly fixed (French tips should be renamed ‘Nigerian tips’). Depending on how ‘independent’ she’s going for, the lashes and some other body parts may also come fixed.

Piercings are in multiples (independent sometimes = rebellious) – ears, nose, belly and body parts I can’t mention. The makeup is MAC, Sleek, Tara or one of those monosyllabic high-end makeup brands else she won’t set a foot outside. Even the lazy stroll to the Mallam’s kiosk comes packaged with the ever-handy lip-gloss. Forget Atmosphere – that’s for the junior indies, our survivor is rocking some major labels. When she can’t get her hands on them, she commissions her own label (though, it’s a tailor who works out of ‘Lere, once she calls it something as fancy as “Moto-Moto” – instant hit). Same goes for the bags and other accessories. The shoes are mostly towering. Though most of our indies are petite, god-forbid you see them ‘lower than you’ in stature. An additional 4 to 6 inches won’t kill –right?

If the looks alone done get the word out, she has to throw in a few other characteristics. How about smoking – publically? And then drinking; sure, we all do it but she’ll get carried away and occasionally you’ll see her being ‘carried’ away by friends from one club or the other after she crosses the line. The sex part is unbelievable. She’s so openly experimental and the ‘one-night stand’ culture is fast growing in Nigeria thanks to her. Her friends don’t want to get left out too, so they’ll collaborate and explore the world of ‘menages’ threesomes and ‘more-somes’.

It goes on and on and on but I can’t possibly say it all. My aim is to introduce us all to this new breed of women developing in our society so we can identify them and maybe even, celebrate them. Have you met her? Are you one of them? Now you know who she is and some of her characteristics, what’s your take?

Written by: @Thetoolsman

Online Editor @ http://www.thenakedconvos.com