Pain has a purpose. As crazy as it sounds, there is a breaking and unbundling of who we are when we are in pain. For physical pain, medication can help dull its sting, but with emotional or psychological pain, its sharpness burrows deep into the layers of who we are, questioning everything we ever thought to be real, tearing down every notion of who we thought we were. It was in this darkness, this bottomless pit of self loathing and despair that I found my purpose. Strange. God uses the most quizzical of things to draw us close. To make us remember that we are nought and only through Him can we have definition.
They say God is quiet when we go through tests. I don’t think He is. I think the problem is our personal needs tower over the softness of His voice. “We want this and we want it now”. “This is how it should be”, “this is when it should happen” we scream. But can we hear a God who does not argue when we are shouting? How can we find direction when we don’t seek the map maker? How can we find the solution if we don’t understand the reason for the pain? It is through the working out of this pain, overcoming the discomfort, and patching up our battle scars that we sometimes find ourselves. Broken, bleeding but still alive.
When I stumbled on this video, I felt a freeing. It was like I had climbed up on a tower and I could see the sea for miles, the ocean breeze filled my lungs and tussled my hair. Surrendering to your purpose means holding on to God, trusting Him implicitly and without wavering, knowing without doubt, that there is a reason for the pain.
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