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How being Confused can Help you Find Yourself  

How being Confused can Help you Find Yourself  

Like many of you know, I studied Environmental Planning, love to write, enjoy creating campaigns, talking about relationship issues and helping women find their purpose. Sometimes, I feel I may be suffering from mixed personality disorder. How does someone go from being a climate change specialist, to helping businesses create social media campaigns and then in the same breathe enjoy being a host of an inspirational online show? The phrase jack of all trades master of none has plagued me for years.

On some days, I feel like I should just abandon everything and concentrate on one thing. Be known as a speaker and do everything else as a hobby. But I feel just as passionate about the other parts of me. So which do I drop? The confusion has been real! It wasn’t until I attended the Blue Print of How Seminar by Mfon Ekpo that I realised it was actually ok to be confused and in fact MANY people (if not everyone is just as confused if not more). This realisation made me come full circle and understand how feeling confused may not necessarily be a bad thing. So here is how I’m using my confusion to my benefit

Forget the myths

myth

I don’t know how it happened, but somehow, we’ve been taught that we are only meant to be one thing in life. A highly sought after lawyer, a trained surgeon, a qualified accountant. The plan is to go to school, specialise and become that one thing that the world will know us for. But for many people this isn’t the case. We are good with numbers but we also love to sing. We enjoy Human Resource Management but also enjoy cooking. We studied Geology but enjoy managing events. This is NORMAL. It’s a myth that we are only meant to be and do one thing in life, rather life is about exploring the different parts of who we are and we owe it ourselves to do this within our life time

Damn the world

damn

The world likes definitions and so in order to fit in, you must be definable. I can’t count the amount of times people have asked me, so what do you really do? Sometimes this question makes me feel really small-Like I am a child, who still hasn’t quite grown up or like I am floundering and haven’t made up my mind who I want to be. But I have realised, I actually don’t owe anyone an explanation. It’s okay to still be finding myself at any age. It’s okay to read Law and then decide I want to learn how to make shoes and become a designer. It’s my life. But people are allowed to make judgement and we are allowed not care. One day, when your designs are featured in Vogue, suddenly you’ll get messages saying we knew you would make it.

Explore every part of yourself

discover

When I interview people, I enjoy asking them why they do, what they do. I want to know what motivates them. Now I realise it’s because my biggest motivation is, at the end of my life, I want to sit with my grandchildren and actually have no regrets. Not that I didn’t make mistakes, but that I can tell them stories of how I lived out my life. How I lived out every experience, how I fell, stood up and started again. I don’t want to come to the end of my life wondering what would have been What if I actually wrote that book, what if I stuck with that business, what if I finished that course? There are so many parts of us, and while it is possible that some journey’s may lead to dead ends, some most definitely will not and we owe it to ourselves to find out.

It will be difficult

confused

Who knew being an adult would be this tough. My goodness! Some days I just want to be in pampers again and have everyone fight to carry me. The decisions are endless and the fear of the unknown is REAL and sometimes painful. Finding out who you are and giving yourself the liberty to explore your dreams comes with real sacrifices. You will question every step and people will make you think you are crazy. At this point, I wish I could tell you it will be worth it. but only time, consistency and discipline can tell you that.

Monetise your passions

naira

In today’s economy where people can have a job on Monday and become unemployed by Tuesday, creating streams of income is no longer a choice but a necessity. The side hustle isn’t just about having extra time on your hands, for some people it can make the difference between flat broke and survival. The things you are passionate about are low hanging fruit opportunities for extra income. So stop wondering what people will think of you selling food in your Jimmy Choos. If it pays the bills, you better start selling fast!

Don’t break focus

focus

The danger with being multi talented is broken focus. It may genuinely be impossible to do everything you enjoy at once. So how do you cope? The truth is I don’t have the answer. All I can share is what I do now. I have found that life has times and seasons and if you are genuinely aware of your passions and looking for opportunities to use them. You will know when it is time and the opportunities will come. I will give you an example. For the last 2 years I have been trying to promote Inspired by Glory. Creating workshops and pushing our presence on social media. Its been very difficult especially with a full time job, but I have found that certain aspects of my life have now become quieter and that has given me more time to concentrate on that. In the meantime my head is buzzing with ideas for other areas. I write them down and work on them when I can, but IBG remains at the front burner. Already I can feel opportunities becoming available for other things I am interested in, so I am putting systems in place to ensure IBG can survive without my full attention, should I not have as much time as I would usually.

Find the common thread  

oprah 2

Today we call Richard Branson, Oprah and Dangote serial entrepreneurs and business moguls. But if you look closer what they actually own is multiple businesses. Sugar, cement and refinery. Airline, internet and banking. TV host, content producer and school owner. They have found the common thread that cuts across their areas of interest and passions and one day you will too. But this takes time, trial and error, failing and starting over. No one said it will be easy, but we certainly hope it will be worth it.

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