There’s nothing as frustrating as working with a boss who doesn’t think you can do anything right. No matter how brilliant you are, the constant barbs and jabs at your competence can get even the most competent person doubting her know how. It’s a serious issue because, not only is your work going to suffer, but your self-esteem could also take a hit. If you feel you’re not good enough, you’re going to be unwilling to take up new challenges, or even explore new job roles. This could really make you stagnant, career-wise.
I know someone who was such a brilliant and competent person in her field, but literally felt that she had to resign to gain her sanity back. She began to doubt everything she did at the office, down to the placement of punctuation in her emails!
If you find yourself in her shoes, here’s what you can do to deal with this toxic situation:
- Do a frank evaluation and see if there’s any truth in your boss’ words: Now, the truth is even when you can’t change people, you can change yourself and your response to them. Perhaps even with the sarcasm and biting tones your boss uses to communicate, there just might be some truth to their words. Do some self-analysis and ask yourself if there are some things you need to improve on or do better. If yes, make a change; not for your boss, but for yourself. You can make some lemonade out of these lemons.
- Have a non-confrontational conversation with your boss: For most Nigerians who are taught to respect their elders, having a conversation like this could be a bit difficult. However, it is important because sometimes people don’t know the impact their words have on other people. You can start by listing the points you want to discuss. In conversation, state the effect your boss’ words have on you, without attacking their person or getting emotional. Make sure you use a level tone when discussing and exit the conversation if it gets too heated or voices start getting raised.
- Document everything: As much as is possible, document instructions you are given by email. Have records of your accomplishments and things that you’ve done. This will help you just in case you need to escalate the matter to HR or someone else higher up in the organisation.
4. Consider Leaving: If you’ve thoroughly evaluated your position and contributions in the company and know for sure that the actions of your boss are completely unmerited, it might be a good idea to discuss it with HR. If nothing is done about it, then it might well be time for you to consider an alternative role within a different department or in a different company altogether.
5. But before you leave…try understanding your boss: It’s not an excuse, but it maybe that your boss has an uneven temperament and requires a specific type of skill set to work with. Talk to other colleagues and his previous reports. Was there anything they did that helped? Try and find out useful information without having unnecessary conversations around the issue (i.e. gossiping). If none of these work, you may have to revert to number 4.
Have you had to deal with a toxic boss? How have you handled it? Leave a comment!
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